“Mrs. Love, your appointment is not
until 1:00 p.m.,” said the front desk receptionist at my dental office of 30
years.
You should have seen the look on my
face when I realized it was only 11:00 a.m. Had I heard the time wrong? Had I
forgotten between the time she told me and the time I wrote it down?
Either way, there I was… two hours early.
Then there was the day I asked my
husband, with a little attitude, “Babe, have you seen my keys? Did you move
them?”
Turns out he had not touched my
keys at all. I had never even taken them out of the car.
And let me tell you, those
push-button starters are not helping matters.
Then there are those moments
standing in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to remember whether I already
took my morning supplements. That is when I realized there is a reason pill
boxes were created.
And then there is the conversation I have with my husband regularly:
“For the life of me, I cannot
remember the lady at the bank’s name.” “You know the one that is always smiling
when you walk through the door.” I was
sure I had put it in my phone, but I could not find it.
These may sound like small things.
Everyday things. Harmless things. Believe it or not, they can be a sign. Signs that
memory is beginning to change. Not because you are “losing it” or you are
“helpless”. And it’s not simply because of age. It is because our brains change
as we age.
That is why paying attention
matters.
For many women, memory changes in
midlife do not show up all at once. They start quietly. We forget names. Miss
times. Misplace things. Lose our train of thought. Need more reminders than we
used to. It can feel frustrating, embarrassing, and even a little scary,
especially if you have always been the one who keeps everything straight.
The good news is this: once
we recognize what is happening, we can begin to support our brain instead of
just blaming ourselves.
As we age, we need to become more
intentional about caring for our brains, especially when it comes to memory. That
means learning what helps, what hurts and building habits that protect brain
health over time.
One important way to protect your
brain is to avoid social isolation. Spend time with people such as family,
coworkers, church family, neighbors, friends. Stay connected. Conversation,
laughter, shared experiences, and meaningful relationships all matter more than
we sometimes realize.
My husband and I have learned to
support one another. What started out as “I gotta watch you”, is a system to
help each other remember names, dates, and places. I am grateful for that. But
support should not stop there. I use my phone to help me, but sometimes the
phone makes it worse.
If you live alone, be
especially intentional. Sign up for a class, join a group, or volunteer where
you can meet new people. Do something that keeps you engaged and connected.
Because your brain needs community.
Another important way to protect
your memory is to keep learning. When you stop learning it is not good for your
brain. If your days have become too predictable, too repetitive, or too
mentally passive, your brain may not be getting what it needs. Challenge
yourself. Read something new. Learn a skill. Take a class. Try a hobby. Stretch
your mind on purpose.
Your brain needs stimulation.
And here is one that many people do
not think about: purpose. A quick way to age your brain is to live
without a sense of purpose. Purpose gives your mind something to stay engaged
with. It gives you a reason to get up, show up, think, plan, serve, create, and
connect. Whether your purpose is found in ministry, mentoring, caregiving,
business, service, creativity, or simply being fully present in this season of
life, it matters. Your brain needs meaning.
So yes, memory may be changing but
this is not the time to panic. This is the time to pay attention. This is the
time to care for your brain with intention.
Here are a few simple ways to
protect your memory as you age:
·
Stay connected to people and avoid isolation.
·
Keep learning and challenging your brain.
·
Build systems that support memory, like
calendars, reminders, notes, and pill boxes.
·
Stop assuming every slip is “just age” and start
paying attention to patterns.
·
Stay rooted in purpose so your brain stays
engaged in life.
Midlife is not the end of
sharpness. But it is a season that calls for more awareness, more support, and
more grace.
Tell me...
Where is your memory beginning to
get your attention? Names? Dates? Appointments? Keys? Medication? Words?
You are not alone. And you are not
without options. Your brain is changing.
But with the right support, you can care for it well.
This month, start paying attention
to the small signs.
Pick one brain-supporting habit to strengthen:
connection, learning, or purpose. Your memory is worth protecting.
Maybe the real invitation of
midlife is not to pretend nothing is changing, but to respond wisely to what
is. Every forgotten name, misplaced key, or missed detail can be a gentle
reminder that our brains need care too. This season is not about fear. It is
about stewardship. And the more we learn, adjust, and stay engaged, the better
we can support the minds God has given us for the years ahead.
With you in this season,
Dr. Janice R. Love
In Her Right Mind
"Because a renewed mind changes everything."
